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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28809672">new light</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacebubble/pseuds/spacebubble'>spacebubble</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek: Discovery</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(but perhaps not an unrequited one...), Blueberries, Eating, Episode Related, Episode: s3e05 Die Trying, Gen, Getting to Know Each Other, Kelpiens (Star Trek), M/M, Missing Scene, Pre-Slash, the beginnings of a forbidden crush</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 10:35:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,154</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28809672</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacebubble/pseuds/spacebubble</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Set while Michael &amp; the crew head out to the Tikhov during episode 3x05. Back at Federation Headquarters, Vance is already looking at Saru in a new light.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Charles Vance/Saru</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>new light</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>just some headcanons in longer form this time. :)</p><p>p.s. sorry to michael at the beginning (she was right to correct him though) - vance is merely projecting some other concerns at the moment that get further illuminated in the finale, but you don't need to have finished the season to read this - it's all set during ep. 5.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It does mollify him, the Captain's willingness to stay.</p><p>To volunteer the idea, even. Remaining behind as leverage, without being prompted.</p><p>Because it was one thing for Commander Burnham to so rudely demand his attention like an annoyed child, to make another ask of him on top of everything else being asked of him -</p><p>Well. Listening to the Captain's gentle voice intercede was such a contrast.</p><p>Vance's temper cools down in an instant. Not entirely, but significantly.</p><p>He barely hears himself instructing Commander Burnham to get back fast from the seed-vault ship, and his vague threat to punish Captain Saru with the potential consequences is only a half-hearted threat at best. After all, he genuinely hopes there won't be any potential consequences.</p><p>In fact, he's almost looking forward to the excuse to learn more about this new Captain.</p><p>It's been a while since he's spent time with anyone new.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Not that Vance has much time to spend. Barely any. Less than he'd like.</p><p>Everything, as usual, keeps him far too busy.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The utility of having a fresh perspective around - even if it might be outdated, severely so - does not escape him. And it never hurts to have another pair of hands, either, especially with medical so woefully understaffed at the moment.</p><p>He puts Saru to work right away, under supervision, instructing him to assist where he can and where he's needed.</p><p>And right now, that's the Sickbay overflow in the corridor.</p><p>With a gentle patience that barely anyone can spare nowadays, Saru makes himself useful, even when all he's trusted with is to simply provide a focal point for a pained Kili's eyes. His presence, steady and generous of spirit, seems to have a soothing effect.</p><p>Of course, being a Kelpien, and being as tall as he is, Saru's hard to miss. Everyone notices him. And every once in a while, when Vance passes through, he can see his officers' eyes light up with curiosity when they notice this rare new visitor. He can't remember the last time he's seen them look like that.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>"You wanted to see me, sir?"</p><p>Saru steps into his ready room with a tentative pace, arms gently swaying behind him.</p><p>Vance gestures to the table. "Figured it was time for a snack break. Go ahead."</p><p>There's a clicking sound. "Oh! Thank you, Admiral."</p><p>Did the click mean anything? The translator didn't pick it up. Vance makes a mental note to ask the computer, later.</p><p>They both look at the array of food on the platter. Saru seems to be hesitating.</p><p>"What's your favorite?" Vance asks, wondering if he could guess. Didn't Kelpiens like salty things? Perhaps he should've requested more savory items. Roasted seaweed, maybe. "If it isn't there, we can always get some from the replicator."</p><p>"Ah!" Saru exclaims lightly, almost as if to himself. "No need, sir. They're right there." He neatly plucks a few blueberries from the platter. "Blueberries."</p><p>"Huh." Vance raises his eyebrows, then reaches for a few himself, smiling a little. "Blueberries."</p><p>"Sir?"</p><p>He knows better than to bring up his assumptions of Kelpien food preferences, so he simply says, "I like them, too."</p><p>And maybe it's his imagination, but Saru seems to smile more warmly at that.</p><p>As they continue talking, they both keep taking more of the blueberries, until the platter runs out. Vance offers to replicate more, but Saru is content to graze on the other fruits on the platter, and he figures he might as well follow suit.</p><p>Intellectually, Vance knows the replicated fruits are just the same as they've always been. But they just seem to taste better today.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>He extends the snack break into a work meeting, which is what most of them end up becoming. Just another afternoon.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Discovery's still not back yet.</p><p>As urgent as the mission is, Vance isn't wholly impatient for the ship's return.</p><p>Saru's company is... well, it's quite pleasant.</p><p>The reports haven't stopped flowing in. Always more reports. But they're a little more tolerable today.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Inevitably, Saru asks about Kaminar, sounding wistful even in the midst of trying not to, and Vance figures he can allow him limited access to the more basic historical records.</p><p>Authorizing the access is but the work of a few seconds. Almost a millennium of history to catch up on, compressed into the most barebones of brief reports.</p><p>Vance almost feels embarrassed when Saru thanks him for it, but he doesn't have time to dwell on the feeling. The next crisis awaits. At least the reports should keep Saru occupied when he's standing in the corridor, awaiting his next task.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>On his next break, they talk a little more.</p><p>It becomes clear to Vance that Saru's genuinely more remarkable than he had initially thought.</p><p>The first Kelpien in Starfleet. A historical figure in the flesh, sitting across from him, delicately eating from a bowl of blueberries.</p><p>Had he known...</p><p>Vague memories of his favorite childhood holonovels float at the edges of his mind. Captain Nog, trailblazer across the stars.</p><p>Without really thinking, Vance remarks, "So you weren't just the first Kelpien in Starfleet - you were the only Kelpien in Starfleet all that time."</p><p>Something about the reminder seems to take Saru aback. He opens his mouth as if to say something, then closes it again, thinking. After a moment, he simply replies, "Yes."</p><p>Before he can say anything else, Saru breaks eye contact to look down at the bowl in his hands.</p><p>Vance knits his eyebrows. He looks at Saru looking at the bowl, and thinks about how lonely it must have been, being the only one of his kind out there for so long. How surprised Saru had been to learn that Kaminar had joined the Federation. Everyone he must have had to leave behind.</p><p>(Was there a - no, Saru would have been too young for a partner left behind on Kaminar. He's almost sure.)</p><p>"I'm sorry," Vance says, and Saru snaps his head back up to look at him. "I shouldn't - if I brought up any bad memories -"</p><p>"Oh no - no, please," Saru reassures him. "It's quite all right, sir."</p><p>
  <em>Sir. </em>
</p><p>Right.</p><p>Vance almost forgot for a moment.</p><p>Not only was Saru a historical figure, but he was also a Captain, and one of his officers.</p><p>No matter how much he might be warming up to him.</p><p>(Or already had.)</p><p>A notification chime breaks the silence, and a holo-alert blooms into view in front of them.</p><p>"Discovery!" Saru's face lights up in relief. "They've returned."</p><p>The alert leaves a faint glow on his face, a gentle haze of blue.</p><p>It's almost the color of his eyes, Vance thinks.</p><p>He smiles.</p><p>"Then let's go meet them." Vance stands up and dismisses the alert, then nods towards the doorway. "After you, Captain."</p><p>A quiet click, then a nod.</p><p>As they walk out together, Vance makes a mental note to himself to look up what those clicks mean.</p>
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